The 15 Stages of Learning Spanish as a Second Language
This post was first published on the travel blog Pasos Porteños on July 25, 2013.
Learning a new language is hard. And then easier. And then harder again.
1. The basics. Hello, please, thank you, how are you. You know nothing and know you know nothing and you’re okay with it.
Chillin’.
2. You start to learn real things like verb conjugations, and once you learn past and future tense you can basically talk about everything, right? You’ re pretty sure you’re pretty much fluent and can have real conversations in Spanish.
Fui a la biblioteca.
3. Attempt a conversation with a native Spanish speaker and encounter this bummer of a realization:
Puede repetir…lo…?
4. A little time passes, and you become accustomed to conversing in Spanish. You start to understand a little bit more. Become very proud of yourself anytime you conjugate a verb correctly, or use a slightly less common vocab word.
Sacapuntas!!!!!!!
5. Start reading things that were not written for “Spanish class,” like real literature, actually written by…you know…Spanish speakers. Realize you are basically illiterate.
85% of the time reading these works will be spent looking up words on Google Translate.
6. You gain a ton of vocabulary via reading and decent writing skills via writing a bunch of papers for Spanish class. You’re probably what they would call “proficient,” like, you can throw that shit on your resume.
7. With this false confidence, and dreams of fluency, you move to a Spanish-speaking country. Within the first few hours, you understand nothing anyone is saying and feel like you’ve never taken a Spanish class. Realize you may be in over your head.
8. After a few weeks, you start to pick up useful phrases, a local accent, and common slang words that are helpful to understanding, especially the young’uns. You start picking up a not-completely-yanqui accent, and get a few compliments on your Spanish.
9. Hang out with native speakers and contribute nothing, as if you were a piece of furniture. Feel miserable about your lack of communication skills and ability to connect with other humans. You have no personality, you just repeating the same key words and phrases to feel like you’re a part of something (ex: Sí!, gracias!, qué bueno.)
10. Have a lot to drink, lose inhibitions, and speak to everyone as if you’ve been speaking Spanish your whole life.
Liquid translator.
Become convinced for three-ish, beautiful, drunk hours that you’re fluent. Get lots of compliments on how well you speak Spanish (mostly from guys that are trying to hit on you)
La reina cisne.
Become absolutely convinced for like 3 beautiful, drunk hours that you’re fluent.
11. Wake up the next day, say two words to someone, who does not understand you even after repeating it 5 times in the best accent you could have ever mustered up in your life.
Realize you are not fluent.
12. But, after months of immersing yourself in a Spanish-only environment, you find yourself picking up things people say on the street without even realizing you were listening, and saying things your didn’t even know you knew/remembered how to say.
And when people try talk to you in English, you’re like:
Hablemos en Castellano.
13. Then something happens, perhaps you have an interaction with a local that is a complete disaster. And you think to yourself, “I’ve been here for months, WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”
Continue to make obvious errors in important emails and conversations. Feel like giving up forever.
Let me go back to the English-speaking world! Where I’m a functioning member of society
14. Realize there will always be something more to learn.
I'll never be good enoughhhhh.
15. Finally, like the last stage of grief, acceptance. Accept that you will never speak like a native Spanish speaker, and that’s okay. You already have English going for you on that front. You’ve put yourself out there, learned something (a lot) and can carry on with your life, an almost-fluent Spanish speaker!
Satisfecha.
